New Word: malsearchification

malsearchification: noun. The use of another person's browser to conduct an embarrassing Internet search. This is most often done at work, when discovery of such a search on one's own web browser might lead to ridicule, humiliation, or legal action.

a visual example of a result from a malsearchification.

Sidereal

New Word: coaster nazi

coaster nazi: noun. a person who insists upon placing a coaster under your drink, no matter what. A coaster nazi will surreptitiously slip a small disk beneath someone's cup, glass, mug, stein, chalice, grail or beaker, unless the opportunity presents itself to "out" the offender in the loudest way possible and thereby introduce a parable in which the damage inflicted by excessive moisture upon a wooden surface leads to an environmental catastrophe that renders the Earth inhospitable to life.

Coaster nazis can usually be identified by a disproportionately high number of coasters relative to the number of horizontal surfaces in their homes that are large enough to support a drinking vessel of any type. Other signs include a tendency to secrete coasters (or in extreme cases, napkins) on their persons, or limited kleptomania, exhibited only in bars, and focused totally on those small cardboard coasters with beer brand logos on them.

Sidereal

New Word: facon

Facon: noun. a substance assuming bacon-like qualities (e.g. coloration, shape, texture) without capturing any of the true essence of bacon.

Examples:

and

Sidereal

New Word: fixel

Fixel: noun. a fixture element. The fix for a problem the requires the least possible amount of work. Sometimes fixels do not actually solve the problem, but give the appearance of having solved the problem, at least for long enough time that the responsible party can flee the scene.

Many common fixels involve the liberal application of duct tape, or wood putty, or baby wipes, or all three simultaneously. IT personnel often use the word "workaround" as a synonym for fixel.

Sidereal

New Word: crypto-invention

Crypto-invention: noun. An invention that is just so useful, or so blazingly obivous that somebody, somewhere simply must have already created it, if only you could find it.

A classic crypto-invention is toddler pajamas made from velcro, with matching velcro bedsheets. This is commonly held to be superior to bungee cords because bungee cords often leave marks on the skin.

Sidereal

New Word: whale jail

Whale jail: noun. The circle in Hell reserved for people who shop at Whole Foods and insist on parking their suburban assault vehicles in the parking spaces reserved for fuel efficient, eco-friendly sub-compact cars and hybrids.

In Dante's Inferno, whale jail is lodged in between circle three (the gluttonous) and circle four (the avaricious). Some scholars argue that whale jail is, in fact, an annex of circle eight, bolgia six, wherein lie the hypocrites. However it can be counter-argued that while being shallow and ignorant is functionally equivalent to being a hypocrite, it is not morally equivalent.

Sidereal

New Word: autophotovisualization

Autophotovisualization: noun. The process of using a camera to take a photograph of one's self. Normally this is done by holding the camera at arm's length, pointing it in the general direction of one's face, and hoping for the best. Most often photos taken using autophotovisualization wind up on one's Facebook or My Space pages, or else are featured prominently on one's blog. Autophotovisualization is most common among computer users, especially Facebook or My Space account holders, as these individuals spend so much time on-line that they have no face-to-face (ftf) relationships anymore, and thus have no friends who will hold the camera for them while a photograph is taken.

Sidereal